Giving Tuesday November 29th 2016

Greetings,

I'm posting this today because as the Co-founder of the Greater Englewood Chamber of Commerce and Englewood resident, I'm excited to be a part of a collective fundraising drive in Greater Englewood for #GivingTuesday on Nov. 29th. 

#GivingTuesday is a global day of giving fueled by the power of social media and collaboration.  Celebrated on the Tuesday following Thanksgiving (in the U.S.) on Nov. 29^th and the widely recognized shopping events Black Friday and Cyber Monday, #GivingTuesday kicks off the charitable season, when many focus on their holiday and end-of-year giving.

When most people think about the community of Englewood, they think of poverty, crime and hopelessness. However, there are committed residents  and organizations like the Greater Englewood Chamber of Commerce, working collectively to make a difference and recently completed a Quality-of-Life Plan for the community.  We are asking YOU to support the projects and early actions of this plan by donating on #GivingTuesday to the Englewood Quality-of-Life Fund.  Our goal is to raise $10,000 which will be match $1 for $1!  Your donation will be tax-deductible and fiscally managed by Teamwork Englewood a non-profit 501(c)3. 

This fundraising drive will support  - 

·        The purchase of new equipment for the 2016 Champions of the Junior Bears Football Team the Ogden Park Vikings

·        The creation of a college fund for children who were victims of gun violence in Englewood in 2016

·        Development of a “Welcome to Englewood” sign/billboard

·        Support for Englewood Codes students

·        Community beautification, public art projects and more!

Again, we thank you in advance for supporting the Quality of Life in Englewood.

~Felicia 

Broke & Lonely

I have a girlfriend who would say, "broke is  lonely place". And she's right, broke is a very lonely place and its not because you don't have friends. It's because being broke holds you hostage. Hostage from friends, family, your peers and your community. It's not just about having money; its about all that not having money prevents you from. I'm not talking about shopping sprees and dinners out. I'm talking about being held hostage from being able to work because you can't even afford to take the bus to work. Hostage from food because you have to choose between getting to work or buying groceries. Hostage in your home because you can't afford to visit family, have coffee with a friend or colleague because $2, to spend on getting there or drinking that, is way out of your budget. Hostage from outside activities because being broke has you feeling like a failure (a failure with a masters degree). Overwhelmed by the thought of explaining to people that you are trying very hard to make your life work but feeling stuck, abandoned and completely alone while doing so. Not because you don't have people who want to help, and those that don't, but really because you're in disbelief that this is your life.

This is happening to you and you are held hostage in this experience. You feel like a hostage in your home, in your head, in your heart because its nobody's responsibility to pay your bills, buy you groceries, give you some financial security, but you! But this year, this season...broke is where you are. So, this lonely place...you know, broke, consumes your every thought, everyday, about how to break free from this situation. Everyday, you work hard, budget, plan and pray that you will be free from self doubt, free from being sad, free from this hostage situation, free from being broke!

Being broke can be really cathartic, in some instances. Lots of time to think, pray, plan but most importantly, be clear about who's not around, who doesn't call you or answer when you call. Clear about the hostage situation and how it brings everthing into perspective. Not everyone is rooting for you to be great, some aren't rooting for your failure, but they could care less about anything that's going on with you. That's ok because....there's nothing you can do about that. But let's be clear, support can be one sided...prepare for that even when you expect something different.

So, is there truth in my friends statement that broke is a lonely place? Maybe, as it will be very hard to answer, understand or identify with it until you are you are broke.

~Felicia

Welcome Back, Fall

Hello Fall!

I've missed your gentle warmth with cool breezes. I've missed your hues of rust, orange, bronze and gold. I'm so glad you're here to encourage long sleeves, tights and high boots. Fall, welcome back to Chicago, welcome back to my windy city with rustles of leaves and naked trees. I'm so very excited for light layers and deep colors, ready for all that you bring including light rains and cozy weekend snuggles. Fall, I'm ready for warm apple cider and mulled wine, Affy Tapple and Halloween candy lines. The only sadness I have when Fall comes back,

are the short days & long nights leaving me little time to enjoy all of Falls beauty. Either way, I will enjoy all the fun and delight Fall has to bring.

~Felicia

Photos courtesy of timeout.com & stajets.com

Learning

Its always been said that learning never stops. Everyday we all learn something new from colleagues, friends, family & most importantly, life. In 2016, social media has uncreased the speed by which things that we learn, are delivered/acquired/presented. An example of that would be how I learned about natural hair; how to manage it, take care of it, wash it, dry it, moisturize it and style it. I learned by bing watching hundreds of YouTube videos, from people all over the globe. From friends, I've learned to be more understanding and be there when you've predicted the worst would come. How being there is more important than the "I told ya' so". From colleagues, I've learned that everyone isn't excited to see you succeed; most are waiting on your failure so that they can "win".

What I've learned from family, is that not all use this term to signal that blood is thicker than water. My experience has shown me that my best support,  guidance, words of encouragement, loyalty and love was not received from family. As I began to redifne what family is and who made up "my family", I realized that it was not the person(s) that share my chromosomes. Don't feel bad for me, actually, be excited that I've learned this in time to enjoy those that really are looking to see me win....big. People who genuinely see how hard I work, how much I care and know that it all comes from the heart, are the ones that matter.

Now, I'm not saying that I've not had some interesting experiences from those I thought were my friends; that was part of the lesson. Learning to discern the real from the bullshit, is where the rubber meets the road. By the time you get to your mid to late 30's, the bullshit gets much easier to identify. You see it before " it" even gets close, because you've learned from that feeling of hurt and betrayal from the past. Here's an example: I had a friend that went through some really hard times emotionally, financially and at times, physiologically. I was there for all of it. I listened to the same stories, reasonings and theories for why, how and who. I took every call, for any reason, at all hours. She talked about suicide and began to make plans and we talked and laughed through it, really laughed because, I needed more time with her. I wanted a break from her depression because it was wearing on me but I couldn't refuse her calls. She needed to talk it through, rehash her steps, get to her breakthrough and find a reason to move forward. Her "friends" stop taking her calls, stopped being there, paused their friendship when she needed it most, but not me. I encouraged her to rethink her next step, I told her she was worthy of the best in life and that it was within reach, during a time that my life was falling apart. I believed in her and I was determined to ensure she believed in herself. I never paused or gave a second thought to helping...never! Long story short, I supported her, emotionally and sometimes, financially, opting to help pay for her to take a course towards a certified designation....she did it and her world opened up beautifully. Here's the turn, the moment I needed her and I asked for her help her words to me were, "I'll see and let you know"...BOOM! I cried! I needed her and she had to think about if she'd help me! Me! Wow, that was eye opening.

We are all grown and I know that grown people can do whatever they want 🎶, like Beyonce's song. I respect that but I was not prepared to experience my friend, tell me, ....wow! Anyway, I'm over it and I've learned more about me from that experience. More about my own strength, resilience, courage & value. I've learned that learning never stops. People, places, things and experiencees can teach you so much. It isn't designed to teach you about those people places and things, its designed to help you learn all about you, the real you! I must admit, while it can be the most hurtful lesson to learn, I know I'm so much better for it, aaannnnd, you will be too.

~Felicia

Friends & Summer

Nothing beats having great friends with you while enjoying all that is summertime in Chicago. You can expect, not only great food and shopping, but music festivals, in the park with sky line views. What can I say...I love this city, good, bad & indifferent.These are the moments that make me so happy about summertime in Chicago. These are my friends, enjoying a concert in the park on the 15th of July and although our faces don't show it, we were freezing! It was about 65 degrees and we were not prepared for that temperature in July nor the freezing wind off the lake that followed, but we had as blast! I couldn't think of anybody else to have had this experience with and live to laugh about it. 

I'll miss you, Summer!

~Felicia

Dating Over 40

Over 40 and dating is the hardest thing I've experienced. No, being forty and dating was not my life's plan but it's what I'm left with. As a young girl, I always envisioned my life as that of a single woman, with a fantastic career, living in a condo in downtown Chicago and traveling the world. Well, that's not what God planned!

So, I got married at age 20, we had our son at age 21 and I was divorced by age 31 and I've been single since. After my divorce, I focused on obtaining my MBA and fast tracking my career.  All the while, I did date as my life was full with my MBA program, raising my son and moving my career along. I had to nail me down first before I could even consider carving out time for someone else.

Now, we are many years beyond that time in my life and dating has become so disheartening. Some will say, 'It's the type of men you're attracting!" I disagree because I've dated blue collar, white collar, black, white and Latin me and it's all been the same...GAMES! *sigh*

At what age do "we" get real about what we want in a relationship? I want real friendship, real love, honest, respectful, motivating, consistent and full of integrity. I was married 11 years so I'm no punk to putting in the work...I can, I have and I will.....BUT...I need "Him" whoever he will be, to want to do the same. Let's be clear, I love me and I'm confident about what I bring to the table. I'm no Tyra Banks but know that my life and life experiences have made me who I am. I'm 5'4", a beautiful shade of brown, 250lbs (yes, I love EVERY curve), a great cook (I said I was 250lbs), college educated and have a successful business. I just want a 40+ man I can really talk to about everything, the good, the bad, the funny and all the stuff in between. I'm looking for OUR version of forever!

So, if you are over the age of 40 and just playing the field, please stay in the field. If you are married, please date your wife! If you are over the age of 40 and aren't sure what you want, I'll assure you that I'm not it. If you like having a harem, I'm clear, I don't do clubs. But, if are over age 40 and you want a woman who is witty, loves to travel and explore new places & spaces, can hold a great conversation about many things and really enjoy the private, quiet moments that we share and most importantly who wants to share them with you, then that's what I'm looking to explore. 

~Felicia

Chicago Summer

There is nothing more exciting than summer in Chicago. Why? Because summer in Chicago is a welcomed time of year after what seems like, 8 months of winter. It gets hot outside, people are darn near naked and nothing is better than than getting out on Lake Michigan for the fantastic views of the Chicago skyline. My city, like most cities, has its issues, but nothing beats summer in Chicago. Outdoor eating, neighborhood festivals, Taste of Chicago, picnics in the park and backyard bar-b-ques....YASSSSS!

Don't let the media tell you about anything that you have not experienced for yourself. We are more than the violence they show on  the boob tube. We are your friends, family and your neighbors who love to dance, eat and shop all over this great city. Come and experience for yourself, all that this great city has to offer and bring a friend because you're gonna need a witness to your new found love....Chicago! Ok now, you only have about 4 more weeks before summer in Chicago is over so you better get movin'.....I'll see you when you get here!

~Felicia

Hair and Body MVP!

This butter has been one of the best products that I've ever added to my winter regimen. The #BelleButters #UnyeveButter for hair and body is the real winter MPV. This is a rich and cream butter that has this wonderful warm, nutty fragrance. Its not a fragrance that is overpowering, but more like what you would assume you'd smell like after layering on a mixture of nut butters and laying out in the sun to get that golden glow....you know, just yummy smelling.

I digress, the point of this post its to tell you how fantastic this Unyeve Butter is for making the skin feel soft, supple and protected from the harsh Chicago winter winds. Now, the picture shown is and empty container of the 3oz size of this wonderful butter. This butter has lasted me through two Chicago winters, as I used it primarily on my body, and from time to time, on my hair. Because this butter is on the heavier side, I did not use it in the summer, instead, I placed all unused portions in the refrigerator to ensure that the oils didn't go rancid. Its a heavy butter that melts into a creamy oil in your hands as your prep for application. My skin just felt amazing after the #UnyeveButter was applied. Please know that Chicago winters are brutal and this butter can withstand the challenge of combating all the drying affects that harsh winter weather and wind brings, making the Unyeve butter the real winter MVP. Well, I will not gush any further about this product but I will provide the link here: www.bellebutters.com if you're interested in reviewing the Belle Butters website (that moisturizing butter for face is also a winner).

Happy shopping!

~Felicia

Green Magic

I had a fantastic weekend with the ladies. We had a friend arrive in from LA for a conference and of course, it was time to get out and enjoy all that the city of Chicago has to offer during the St. Patrick's Day celebration. Although I had to work most of Saturday morning, I was able to join the ladies as the dined on #Morton's lunch of corned beef & cabbage, steamed veggies, sliders and dessert. we laugh and got excited to spend the day just enjoying the cities festivities.

After leaving #Morton's, we walked down Michigan Ave. and was in awe of all of the people who turned up & out for the parade. These people were not just dressed in green, but we saw all of kinds of costumes and green wear to celebrate. The best was the guy we saw dressed up as the Luck Charms leprechaun....it was spot on perfect! We walked down Michigan Ave. to make our way to the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) to enjoy some of the art installations there. We spent a couple hours there and then decided to visit my niece at #uniqlo. It was my first time at there Chicago store and I wanted to see some of the merchandise and take a look at the store layout. The ladies and i continued to enjoy our walk and decided to make out way to one of our favorite place for hot chocolate and churros, #xoco. The lines are always insane but the food is down right amazing....I said AMAZING! It was a time to chat, laugh and just have some great girl time with these three amazing ladies. It was great for all of us to be together and just catch each other up on life and all of its unique twists and turns.

Once we were done with the churros, it was time to make our way home. We'd been roaming downtown Chicago for hours, talking, laughing and eating and now we were pooped! As we departed, we said our good byes and looked forward to the coming days ahead as we planned our next outing. Wow, what a great Saturday in the city...the ladies, St. Patrick Day activities and of course, a lot of green magic!

That's it for now!
~Felicia

Ahhh, the start to the new week has been a success and a failure at the same dang time.
The failures; as a business owner myself, the sacrifices have been much greater than I would have ever imagined. I work hard to be the best advisor to my clients I can be but its not been easy. I love what I do and I'm committed to continuing to build my practice but it has come at a cost. The cost has been my lifestyle (I know, its a bit superficial but its how I reward myself), my confidence (sometime I'm not sure I how went from a six figure income to less than $40k a year....yep!) and emotions. I've cried, laughed, prayed and all while still working hard to build my brand. My confidence gets battered when I've had a stellar month but am still trying to figure out how to pay the bills, buy groceries and still have enough left over for marketing costs. (I just need to hit the lottery, if/when I play!) All of these issues impact my confidence, at times and I'm learning to work through that.

And then, the successes. It's only Tuesday and I've made some great headway as the executive director for the newly launched community chamber of commerce. Met with some important individuals and our newest board member who will help me with some of the "ground" initiatives that help to build support and membership for our chamber. Secondly, I've been out getting to know more business owners in my community and letting them know about some of the important opportunities that are available that will help them make some improvements to their business. The conversations I'm having with them have been invaluable and its great to building those relationships. Many have stated that they were so glad to have met me and to learn more about me and what I do and how I can add value to there business strategy. This was great to hear and let's me know I'm on the right path.

I also have the best girlfriends a girl could have. These women have helped me pray, offered emotional support, kept me encouraged and have always been a great sounding board for ideas. For that, I'll be forever grateful.

So I share this to say, to all the other business owners, keep going! It's worth all of the sacrifices to know that you add value to to someone's life, in any way. You are on the right path and you need people who understand your purpose to help you remember that, every time life begins to get the better of you.

That's it for now!
~Fe

Getting Started

So, this is the first post on my blog...new blog. I thought it was time to start something new. I'm not a writer nor am I all to artistic in my approach to this new "venture". What I am sure about is that there are women out there, like me, who want to talk about "it". I don't know what "it" is but "it" is whatever it needs to be at that time, in that conversation. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. This could be the best thing to ever do or the biggest waste of my time, but I have to start in order to know, either way.

I ask for patience as i learn how to navigate this blog and this process. I want to share with those that will read this blog, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking (sometime you'll love what I have to say and sometimes you won't) and I don't plan to sugar coat any of it! Win with me, cry with me, laugh with me and let's just feel good about the fact that we will get through the process.

I will share as much as I can (I'm 40 somthin' so I sometime forget to do or mention things), when I can and as often as I can. You can expect to know more about some of my favorite place to eat, shop, and visit over the coming months so stay tuned. I'm glad you'll be joining me for this ride as road trips are best done with lots of friends and great music...let's go!